Monday, 20 September 2010

PARENTAL GUILT (part 1...)

Well, all good on the birthday front. Presents went down well, and Fegos came up trumps with a new sausage Eggs Benedict, which hit the spot with me (am a secret Egg McMuffin fan).

We spent the morning watching Sam play football. It's always a frustrating experience; here is a boy who plays brilliant football in the back garden, but hangs back on the pitch. Of course it's a confidence thing (he's a good 3-4 inches shorter than most of the players), and he's not a naturally aggressive kid. It will come in time, but this season they're dropping boys who don't perform from the squad. Seeing as Sam genuinely believes he can be a professional footballer, this may come as a blow...

This is one of the hardest aspects of parenting for me. Dealing with disappointments - theirs and let's face it, your own, is tough. Nothing beats the pride you feel when your kid achieves something but you also feel their pain when things go wrong, and you don't always deal with it in the best way. It's a fine line between teaching them to take responsibility and damaging self- esteem. Then of course comes the guilt if you feel you missed the mark.

At times like these, I often think back to 'Little House on The Prairie'. Ma and Pa Ingalls had it nailed. No yelling or sulking (I'm talking about me, not the kids) just lots of cosy chats on the bed about misdemeanors, with lessons instantly learned forever....oh for life in The Midwest c.1870 (yes I know Nellie Olsen got whipped, but you would wouldn't you?)


  1. I think we all wish we could perfect the art of parenting, I know I do. I often feel like I am a failure like today I am commenting online instead of taking youngling out to the park (which I will do later of course).

    Guilt is a very difficult feeling to cope with. Chiln up chuck!
    Take care
    Kate Collings
    xx - Always welcoming new followers, guests and comments xx

  2. Does Sam know about the upcoming cuts to the squad? I would ask Sam who he thinks the best players are and who he would cut if he had to make the decision. It's pretty amazing, to me, how self aware most kids are. We definitely need to encourage them to reach for their dreams but a healthy dose of reality does not squash their dreams. It might just redirect them.

  3. Yes he does! Mr G told him all about the risks in no uncertain terms. We'll see what happens...